In, “well we all say this coming” news, 24 year old indentured servant Crystal Harris played runaway bride today by leaving Hugh Hefner and the Playboy mansion just days before their wedding.

In fact, TMZ is reporting that Hefner just Tweeted: ”The wedding is off.”

So, you know what that means. Once it’s on Twitter it’s DEFINITELY official, and you can tear down your camp in Hombly Hills because this trainwreck ain’t comin’ round. Alledgely the two have been having “heated arguments” over the phone, and Crystal decided to call off the wedding and move out.

I’ll spare you the obligatory “hey, he’s OLD!” jokes, and let you mourn this one in your own way.

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Oh, Twitter. Before you, how did celebrities express their thoughts and feelings? The latest victim of the over share is Russell Crowe, and he took to Twitter to rant about the religious tradition of circumcision.

Rusty had this to say about the whole cut/non-cut issue:

Here’s a life rule, if you can’t spell it, don’t do it.Circumcision is barbaric and stupid. Who are you to correct nature? Is it real that GOD requires a donation of foreskin? Babies are perfect.

I love my Jewish friends, I love the apples and the honey and the funny little hats, but stop cutting your babies.

I will always stand for the perfection of babies. I will always believe in God, not man’s interpretation of what God requires. Last of it, if you feel it is your right to cut things off your babies please unfollow and fuck off; I’ll take attentive parenting over barbarism.

Facepalm. Rule #1 of Twitter is that you don’t rant about religious customs, let alone calling them out for “funny little hats”! Naturally an apology followed, and Russell crawled back with his tail (or is that an uncut peen?) between his legs.

I have a deep and abiding love for all people of all nationalities. I’m very sorry that I have said things on here that have caused distress. My personal beliefs aside I realize that some will interpret this debate as me mocking the rituals and traditions of others. I am very sorry.

As a good Catholic school girl, I never saw an “intact” one, but  as a germaphobe, the whole cleanliness thing kinda freaks me out. I don’t trust a man to keep a bathroom clean, let alone a vital organ.

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You’ve gotta respect a couple that can have an anniversary/divorce party! Hipster royalty Karen Elson and Jack White are planning a party to say bu-bye to marriage while celebrating their wedding day. Will this be the latest trend in our ridiculous society?

The soon to be former couple released this statement to People:

“We remain dear and trusted friends and co-parents to our wonderful children Scarlett and Henry Lee. We feel so fortunate for the time we have shared and the time we will continue to spend both separately and together watching our children grow.”

Well, best of luck to these two! I’ve always been a fan of Elson as far as supermodels go, and Jack White has a tolerable level of hipster-billy. Me thinks they’ll land on their fancy, talented feet.

Image via DListed.

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Maybe I’ve been living in West Hollywood too long, but this didn’t phase me in the slightest until I saw it all over the blogs about 5 seconds after it happened. Really, people? Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner sharing a quick peck is enough to send us into a tizzy? C’mon!

I’ll spare you the rant about, “Well in Europe…” but I do have to laugh about the narrow-minded gasps such a quick kiss could elicit.

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Sarcasm aside, I’m glad ScarJo, 26, moved on from Penn, 50, if only because he is the WORST rebound after Ryan Reynolds. Literally the worst. Note: if you google “Scarlett Johansson rebound” at least four bold-faced names show up. Fun!

Anyway, the reps aren’t commenting at this time, but tongues have been wagging ever since Johnasson bowed out of Cannes while Penn was promoting his new movie, Tree of Life, instead staying to shoot the new Avengers movie in New Mexico.

People has more info, if you’re not bored already!

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Billy Bob Thornton, ex-husband of Angelina Jolie and talented (albeit somewhat troubled) actor, learned today that his estranged daughter, Amanda Brumfield, was found guilty of aggravated manslaughter. Brumfield was charged by a court in Florida following the death of a 1 year old child in her care back in 2008. The child fell and sustained fatal injuries.

After the incident came to light last year, a statement was released saying that Thornton has been long estranged from his daughter “and has had no contact with her for quite some time,” publicist Arnold Robinson said.

“When informed about this situation, he (Thornton) commented that, ‘Anytime a baby’s life is lost is an unimaginable tragedy and my heart goes out to the baby’s family and loved ones,’ ” Robinson told CNN in a written statement.

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Last year, Noa’s rep had this to say about the contents of the tape:

“JLo is riding a scooter in public in Cuba, while talking to the camera and numerous by-standers, with her privates in as plain view as Paris Hilton, Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan have in the past. This is among other nudity on her part in the now 21 hours of home movies, that we have so far recovered.

In Noa’s Home Videos, Lopez displays deviant behavior by consensually exposing her genital area in public, however, Noa & Meyer (Ojani’s producing partner) have never ever intended to market this and the many other racy, damaging & expositive scenes from the Home Videos. It must also be stated that in Noa’s Home Videos, Lopez gives her full consent to Noa taping her.”

This whole non-scandal gets a big booty MEH from me. How JLo and her non-talent have stayed afloat this long is a mystery to me, so a sex tape almost as old at Justin Bieber isn’t worth the tape it’s printed on. Snooze.

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I was pretty convinced yesterday that the Blake Lively “leaked” nude pics were legit, despite pleas to the contrary from her rep. Today, though, watch out B because there’s a slew of damning nudity and a matching iPhone case that’s kinda damning. Not that there’s anything wrong with nude pics, it just sucks that you didn’t own up to it like Rihanna.

Todays shots feature more close-up booty shots and some faux tattoos that match Lively’s character in The Town along with clearly snaps of her face. Dlisted has them all here! Whoever is leaking them is adding a pretty confident watermark… +1 for getting so see the word fap first thing in the morning!

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But according to USWeekly, sources are saying ” they are hooking up.” Now, in terms of sources, these seem a little thin. At best we get a one-sentence confirmation that could have come from any schmo on the street saying that Mary Kare is ”aware of Justin’s reputation with women, but…They’re in the same head space.”

Naturally, J-Timbs rep denies the claim saying, “”They are friends. They are not romantically involved.”

Hitting the snooze button on this one for now until we get some legitimate pap shots or blurry questionable nude photos.

Image from USWeekly.com

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@biermann71 and I are happy to announce the birth of our son today Kroy Jagger Biermann is healthy & beautiful We are so in love!

Every time I look at Kim I have to tell myself girlfriend is only 32 years old and not a 40-something melted wax candle with a lace front wig. At least she has two built in babysitters and Sweetie to tend to her spawn while she nurtures that amazing singing career!

What do you think Nene will have to say about this hmmm?

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